I’m addicted to making plans. I spent so much of the last two years underwater, that any suggestions for the future felt entirely beyond my capacity. It’s like I lived inside Microsoft Word; weekends went by in blankness, half written sentences, and figures. Total immersion.
And I kept that going for a while even after leaving New York! Apply, apply, apply, work, work, work, network, work.
“More. Stay in place, work hard, dig deeper,” I told myself.
Stockholm’s syndrome.
And it’s not like I don’t have much to do now either. I still spend most of my week looking at screens, typing, and scrolling. But it’s like a figurative ball and chain has suddenly evaporated. I look around and I see infinity.
I know I should be mindful about “balance” and take it easy, but all I can think about is “what’s next?” “what are you up to?” “let’s go to this weird faire” “should we go see the Niners?” “plans this weekend?” “plans next weekend?” “plans next month and next year and three falls from now?”
I just want to be around people I like as much as possible.
Luckily, it’s an addiction I’m willing to feed.